Masochist or Submissive?

Masochist or Submissive?

Masochist or Submissive? To some, these words are interchangeable. They are, however, very different beasts. It seems fairly obvious, but you would be surprised at how many people within the BDSM community, including some sadly clueless Doms, do not see the difference between these two types of kinksters. Do not misunderstand, a masochist can absolutely be a submissive and vice versa, but they are not mutually exclusive.

For the masochist, it is primarily about pain and a feeling of helplessness that provides them with fulfilment. They may very well submit their body for all of the lashings and torture in the world, but outside of that, they are nobodies servant. They may very well provide you with various forms of service, but that isn’t what is going to bring them peace.

Some see the obsession with pain as something undesirable or “lesser” than those who serve simply because it is in their nature to do so. I disagree. I not only appreciate the masochist but sometimes prefer it. Though I suppose as a sadist that is only natural. The point is, there is nothing wrong or shameful about being a masochist that does not enjoy submitting or serving. Watching a masochist in the throes of ecstasy while enduring relentless torment is one of the most beautiful sites I have had the pleasure of witnessing, and it is to this day one of my favourite things. Seeing their body tensed and shaking during torture is exquisite, and the smile and relief afterwards are truly beautiful. It’s as if a thousand inner demons were silenced.

Submissives have their own beauty. Where the masochist achieves an ecstatic state through pain, the submissive finds a connection of purpose through their service. Serving their Dominant brings them true peace and contentment. They will become focused, detail-oriented, and anticipate how they may be of use to you. This inner peace in service is what makes a good submissive to sought after. To train one to hold themselves in a way that pleases their Dominant owner, to teach them not how to submit, but how to submit to you is one of the most rewarding tasks to the Dominant but it is also incredibly rewarding on a deep level for the submissive that has achieved these standards.

Yes, a masochist can be a submissive and a submissive can be a masochist. These two coexist within many people. However, they are two different types and should never be confused. Do not treat your masochist like a submissive if they are not one and vice versa. Without making these distinctions you can cause real harm, be it physically or mentally. If you are a submissive and do not like pain, never believe that you are less valuable because you cannot take it. You do not have to be a masochist to find a loving and strict owner. Masochists, you do not have to serve if this is not your passion. There are many sadists who will enjoy you without making you cook their meals or clean their homes. Never compromise who you are to please a Dominant, simply keep looking for a Dominant that wishes to develop who you are. You will be much happier for it.

Lady Swan

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