Attributes of a good sissy (maid): Patience

Attributes of a good sissy (maid): Patience

The question I am asked more often than any other is simply, “What do you look for in a maid or submissive?” or, “What do Mistresses look for when seeking a personal maid?”. Obviously, there is no clear answer to these questions. Every Mistress or Dominant lady has different needs, personalities that they prefer to associate with, and styles of domination. Some may be looking for a chef, others for a whipping girl. There are as many types of service as there are stars in the sky. However, there are some key attributes that you can develop on your own that will make you more desirable for ownership and give you a place to start until your formal training. This series of blog posts will break down different desirable attributes for you to begin working on.


They say that patience is a virtue, and they aren’t wrong. Remember, your purpose is to serve your dominant. Their needs and desires come first and sometimes that means you have to sit and wait until receiving orders, be given nights off as your dominant is busy, or even attend to things while your dominant is ill. If something serious has happened, there may even be times that you must go without contact with your dominant. These times can be very difficult, and it is easy to begin to have negative thoughts. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen submissives of all types begin this spiral of negative thinking due to the dominant simply being very busy at the time, and it is never helpful. Most of the time they fret and self-doubt themselves into a frenzy of misery only to have their beloved owner finish their big work project or overcome their flu and find themselves faced with an emotional mess who is convinced that their owner’s absence was a personal slight against them.

Now imagine things from the dominant’s point of view. You know your duties and what is expected of you. A big project comes up that needs all of your attention. You let your submissive in on the situation and have full confidence in your sub to be able to follow the rules and carry out their duties faithfully while you focus on this. It’s long hours, stressful, and exhausting but after a week you’ve finally finished it. All you want is to relax and rest after so much chaos, but instead of being able to do that, you have to go into a full-on reassuring mode simply to do damage control with a submissive who has sent 500 text messages and have now convinced themselves that you no longer want them around. I suppose sleep can wait yet again while you comfort and reassure your submissive.

This type of behaviour doesn’t improve the life and wellbeing of your dominant, it hinders it. It adds stress and yet another thing that we, as dominants, must micromanage. Developing patience is so important in a sissy maid. Develop a zenlike approach to your service. Be patient, wait for your orders without pouting or huffing and puffing. No potential owner wants to deal with a maid who feels the need to roll their eyes or fidget during a dinner party simply because they are bored as they haven’t been given an order or task in a while. It not only reflects badly on the maid but also on the training they have received, ergo their owner. And no dominant wants to take on a sissy that will make them look ill-mannered or incompetent in their training style. An impatient sissy is a rude and undesirable sissy. Remember your purpose, you are there to serve and improve the life of your owner, not flaunt an attitude because you’re bored.

When learning to improve your patience, a good place to start is with simple mindfulness exercises. When you are performing a task, attend to it with a calm and clear mind. Still yourself, so to speak. Be mindful of the details you are attending to. Focus on your breathing to slow and clear the mind and focus solely on doing the task to the best of your ability.

When you have nothing at all to do, practice visualisation exercises and mediations in case of a long period without orders or tasks. This is also a great way to spend time during extended caging. Meditation, visualisation, and mindfulness are wonderful ways to learn to focus your mind and develop patience.

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